How do you plan a 1st birthday party when half of the reason is no longer with us? As February 5th gets closer and closer, a pit in my stomach keeps growing. When we first lost Mason, it was the 16 week mark that I dreaded most. Once we crossed the point where he's been gone longer than we got to spend time with him, then I dreaded the 28th of each month. Lately, it's been the upcoming 1st birthday.
I just have so much trouble planning a celebration when Mason won't be here to join in. Rob and I even talked about not doing anything. But that isn't fair to Will. When he looks back as an adult I want him to have the fun cake pictures that we have of Caden. Also, I want to see Will destroy his cake....and have our family and friend here to see it too.
In talking to another twin angel mommy the other day she asked if I'd thought of doing a butterfly release or balloon release in Mason's memory. I LOVED the idea of a butterfly release. However, we live in KC and it just seems cruel to release butterflies into the February weather. So a balloon release it will be.
I did pick out a theme...Mod Monkey is the design. My mom designed some custom invitations. Kim is working on the cake. I need to get started on the decorations...
It's just so depressing at times to work on it. This is not the way it should be...it should be a 100% happy moment. I also worry that our guests might feel uncomfortable with us wanting to include Mason in the day. But how do we not? It's his birthday too.
1 comment:
I think including Mason is the only way to go - it IS his bithday too, and while I don't know your family and friends, I find it hard to believe anyone would object.
I hope you can still enjoy the day, I'm sure Will will smash that cake good :)
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