I've spent the last few days thinking about 2010....what a crazy year it has been. At this time last year I was huge....hadn't seen my feet in months. Then mid-month came pre-term labor and hospital/home bedrest. And on February 5th @ 12:34 and 12:36 pm came the arrival of Mason & Will. Big brother Caden was just 17 months old at the time. He loved them from the day we brought them home always wanting to kiss them. It did take him a few weeks before he warmed back up to mommy...I'd never been away from him for that long.
The next 16 weeks were chaotic and full of joy, sleep deprevation and sometimes complete chaos. But we loved it. Caden was starting to talk more and more. The twins were changing so quickly and loved to snuggle together.
Then came a phone call that changed our perfect little world....May 28th was the worst day of my life. It started out as such a great day: A smiling and playful Mason woke up before we left for the day. A peaceful Will was alseep in his crib. And big brother Caden was going to have a special breakfast with mommy and daddy before a dr appt to follow-up on a recent ear infection. Then came the phone call that no parent ever wants to receive...Mason was in cardiac arrest and we needed to head for the hospital. I still wonder how in the heck I managed to drive myself. In the ER we got to hold his little hands and we both begged him to come back....but after an hour a CPR the doc called his time of death -- 12:18pm. I looked at the ER doc and asked to hold my baby. The doc said yes and asked them to unhook him and give him to me. I just held my sweet little boy and cried. Never wanting to let him go.
The last 7 months have been hard....unbearable at times. We've met some other angel parents -- makes you know that you will survive this. That while the pain will never go away that you will learn how to live with it.We've relied on the love and support of our friends, family, co-workers and complete strangers. Thank you to all of them....we couldn't have made it this far without them. And we need you to keep moving forward.
Caden turned 2 in August and is such an amazing little boy. He's always soaking in everything around him and continues to amaze us with his ever expanding vocabulary. He still love his baby brother Will and knows that Mason is his angel. He loves to tell his Uncle Rob to "zip it". Says his aunt Chelle is his buddy. Enjoyed jumping on grammy and grandpa's bed. Was so incredibly happy that Santa brought us all fire trucks like he asked.
Will is going to be 11 months on Wednesday...can't believe he's growing up so quick. He so close to walking. Always likes being on the move. Can say da-da, ma-ma and nana (for his much loved bananas -- he's so his fathers son). He's quite the crusier and is such a happy little boy. His smile and laugh can make a bad situation so much easier to handle.
Rob and I started The Mason Werner Foundation for SIDS Awareness to keep the memory of Mason alive while raising awareness about SIDS. Thanks to Eric for the idea to start a foundation. Rob did tons of research and got us "offcial". Then with the help of my brother-in-law and a designer at his firm the "Keep the Stars Alive" onesie was born. We hope the foundation will keep Mason's memory alive forever.
Bring on 2011....my goal is to be better about blogging.
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