Observations

It's now become clear that toddlers are very temperamental little people. The change in moods can be quick and things they used to love are not so loved very quickly. However, it is also a stage that bring so much fun. Caden has started a new game at dinner. He gets everyone's attention (mommy, daddy, Will and Gus), then he covers his eyes and wants us to "look" for him. So we look under his chair, under the table and talk about looking for him elsewhere. Suddenly he will uncover his eyes, squeal and starting laughing. Some day we are going to have to explain that by just covering your eyes you are not invisible.....but for now I am enjoying our little game. Tonight I caught him peaking through his fingers to see where we were looking.

He has also learned how to give real kisses. He doesn't just put his lips to your cheek, but actually kisses. WARNING: these are normally very wet kisses. Seems like we need to teach him to not slobber, but for now I am just going to enjoy my kisses. Side Note: Caden is not a fan of Will touching him when he has been chewing on his fingers. He says it's icky, lol.

Before bath time tonight daddy had Will giggling....then Caden started giving Will hugs that made him giggle too. I just love hearing that giggle.

I was so happy to find the coolest Elmo cake (don't worry daddy it will be worth all the $$ when you see it) for Caden's birthday party today....just love Nellie's Custom Cakes. Caden loves Elmo so much and I just can't wait to see his face when he sees the cake. Hope everyone coming to the party likes Elmo....it might just look like Elmo threw up in our basement.

I am looking forward to support group tomorrow night. It's great company, but I must say I wish none of us knew each other. This morning I realized that Mason is not alone in heaven....he's with the two other babies that I lost during pregnancy before we had Caden. I always thought it was just awful to lose a pregnancy, little did I know how much more it would hurt once you got to meet that sweet little one.

I know some people are probably thinking that I need to just move on....and I wish it were that easy. However, it's not and from what I have learned from the people who have been in my shoes before you never move on. The pain remains forever....it just lessens, but it will always be there. Our hopes and dreams for our future has changed. Yes, I am so happy for Caden and Will. I do enjoy every min I get to spend with them, but the sadness is there when I have the time to think. For now I am just working on making it through each day. Today was filled with lots of tears, so I am hoping that tomorrow might me a little better.

I miss you so much Mason. I will love you forever.